You're Not Hearing If I'm Talking
by Scaredbeingsinthedark
Summary: Sequel to I Don't Want You to Hear If I'm Not Talking "It wasn't meant to be. I mean, I never thought he hung the stars, and I guess he thought he'd change me." This is how Sam lost his husband-to-be. And honestly, Dominick feels nothing but relief. *Written entirely in dialogue* Warnings: implied rape (off screen); domestic abuse; verbal abuse; physical abuse; friendship


Disclaimer: I don't own anything recognizable (except Sam).

A/N: **Important!**

If you liked Sam in **I Don't Want You to Hear If I'm Not Talking** , I'm sorry. This narrative destroys his "niceness" as a character. I wrote this because the longer I thought about it, the more Sam slipped from an accidentally creepy guy hitting on Carisi into a slightly abusive prick. He would, over the course of the relationship, isolate Carisi, keep him feeling off-balance and never quite good enough. I don't exactly know why I did, but I developed a personal view of as Carisi a not-quite-sexual being who can take or leave having sex with his relationships. Sam doesn't read that way to me. He seems focused on getting Carisi to like him in as little time as possible and some of his exchanges with Carisi feel off for how a regular person would act. There's got to be a motivation for it. Hence this narrative.

Hang tight, it gets a little bumpy.

ooOoo

Hi there, I'm Dominick Carisi, Jr.

You can call me Sonny. Everyone does.

Well, not really everyone. Actually, hardly anyone does anymore.

Especially because Sam, you know Sam, my boyfriend Sam. He's the one who knocked on your door—yeah.

Anyway, just call me what you like. Sam calls me Dom—which, okay, yeah, only he can call me that.

Most people call me Carisi, I guess, now that I think about it.

Oh, you're going with Dominick? Good, just. Don't call me Junior.

I know! Everyone thinks I should, like, really enjoy being called that. But…my dad's not a dick. I just don't wanna be called that.

It's not like anyone calls Theresa Junior either.

Oh, Theresa's my sister. And my mom. Bella's named after our great-aunt who passed within a week of her birth. Gina's named after another great-aunt. This one is still kicking. Guess they thought Bella'd be a good charm for her namesake.

Yeah, we're all one big, happy family.

Anyway, sorry to have bothered you last night. I know it must not have been fun to be woken up at 4 in the morning.

Well, you're welcome to knock on my door that late. I'll be up.

Would you like some coffee?

Cool. Um, there's a little place right around the corner. I think they do specialties.

Let me just grab a jacket. That wind's getting kinda nasty lately.

So, I've just moved in. Sam's been here a while. How about you?

Oh, this is me. Gotta get used to it. Not entirely fun adventurous times.

Anyway. You've been here a year and no one has seriously pounded on your door in the early hours of the morning? See, I knew it'd be a good idea to apologize.

Sam isn't usually like that. I promise. He just had a bad day at work.

He's a bartender at Fireflies. Yeah, that cool place a couple blocks south. Kinda why I moved with him instead of the other way around. It's easier for me to commute to work than to ask Sam to. Compromise.

Okay, this is us. See? It's a little place. Yeah, right around the corner, too. I don't lie.

You know what you want? Do you wanna order or do you want me to? Okay, I like coffee, black, sugar on the side.

It's how my sister Theresa, you remember her, the other Junior, drinks it. She's the one who got me hooked on it. I was twelve and trying to stay up past midnight. New Year's.

Yeah, it did the trick. But I crashed so hard about an hour after. I swear my parents knocked a few years offa Theresa's life. They refused to let me drink it even in high school.

So, what about you? First time drinking coffee?

Hah! Glad I'm not the only one.

Debit, please. Yes, thank you.

Table? Or head back?

Okay.

Hey, Josh isn't gonna be mad, is he?

Oh. Should we have gotten something for him?

You're sure?

Let me know if it ends up being a problem and I'll do my best to fix it.

It's what I do. If I break something, I take care of it.

Take Sam, for example. He really liked me before I liked him. So, he kinda asked me on a date. I hurt his feelings, so I gave him a chance to help fix it.

It's working out so far, thanks.

Oh, here you are.

Thanks for being so understanding. And for not being mad about it. Let me know Josh's thoughts on the coffee.

I'll just be down the hall. Knock on the door if you need anything.

Okay. Bye.

ooOoo

Hey, yeah, you got a first aid kit?

Oh, I'm fine. I just decided punching a mirror might be fun. I completely forgot that I didn't have any bandages of my own.

No, seriously, I'm fine.

Sam's at work.

No, you don't have to come with me. I'm fine, I promise.

I just…Hey, sorry. I think I'm getting blood on your floor.

Sorry. Really sorry.

Shutting up.

Um, that kinda stings. Ow!

What are you, a nurse?

Oh! Me too.

I mean, I'm going to school at night. I'm studying to be a lawyer, not a doctor. Well, not really. Just taking some courses to see if I can get a degree.

I already graduated college once. Criminology. I'm a cop.

A detective, really. Third grade. Uh, that's the lowest.

So, how far along are you? Oh, wow. That close, huh?

Why are you always home, if you don't mind me asking?

Really, you can do that? Cool! Hey, no! Ow!

Jesus, that really stings. No shit. I knew that. Sorry. Guess I am agitated.

Look, thanks for doing that. I'll try not to punch any other reflective surfaces.

Where did that come from? Sam's not a bad person. He's just…misguided. I mean, I think you know more about what I do than he does. I haven't told him I'm a cop yet. I think he knows that though. He's met my sergeant. He's never home before I am unless I have an all-nighter or school, so he just assumes…Actually I don't know what he assumes.

Hey, how's Josh, by the way? Still don't need a coffee?

Yeah, I'd like that. You'll be by at 7?

I'll be ready. Just…Don't plan sushi. I have an allergy to seaweed. Ah, I've gotta tell Sam that. He says no one dislikes sushi. I did like what I tried but I think it was the one that's designed for tourists who really have no taste. But, yeah, I had a reaction. That's how Sam met my Sarge.

Sam likes to joke that since he's already tried to kill me once, our relationship can only go up. We'll see what time says.

Okay. Well, thanks again. And I'll see you at 7.

I look forward to it.

ooOoo

I'm sorry. It's not a good time.

I mean, it's never a good time, y'know?

I'm sorry.

Yeah, come on in. Watch the boxes.

So, we're moving. Well, at least I am. Sam loves it here. I don't. Simple.

Here, it's warm.

Sorry, no heat. You either?

At least Sam has a hot plate.

How's Josh?

Yeah? Good. I'm glad for you.

Uh, sure, I've got sugar here somewhere.

I've really got too much crap, y'know?

Want a record player? It's broke but Josh repairs stuff like that, doesn't he? Anyway, you can at least have all the records.

Oh.

Well, he can suck it then, can't he.

Yeah, we're kinda fighting.

It's nothing serious. Not like the mirror thing.

Oh. Yeah, about that. Sam admitted to cheating on me. I hit the mirror 'cause I was pissed.

I'm not now. Thanks for the first aid, though.

We were supposed to be married by now, but. Like I said, I'm moving out.

He said it was only once. But, there's some other stuff.

Can I run it by you, just to see if I'm overreacting?

Okay, well. I used to be close to my family. Happy family, remember? Well, anyway, Sam doesn't get on with any of my sisters, so we've kinda…I actually haven't talked to them in about a month. Sam monitors my cell—he wanted a joint plan, now he won't let me get a separate one. And every time I get a trac phone, he destroys it.

Once he dropped it into a pot of sauce. Yeah, he made me eat the damn thing. The sauce, not the phone.

Your face. You look concerned.

Oh! Sam hasn't hit me. He's just…incredibly critical. We've been dating for over two years now.

Um, sex is sporadic. Maybe like once a month and really planned. Why?

That one might be my fault. I'm just not comfortable, y'know? Sam's not pushy but he's not quiet about it either. He says that's why he cheated though. 'Cause I wasn't putting out.

Yeah, blah, blah, blah. It's an excuse. I _know_ that.

Outside of work and school, I don't really go anywhere without Sam. You and Josh might be the only thing. I haven't, uh, told him about our dinners. I just know he'd be mad. But, he won't let me do anything without him.

When we first started dating, he'd let me pick the movie or the restaurant. Now, though, what he wants is what we do. Except for sex. He still lets me say no. Most of the time.

Yes. I do feel pressured when we "have relations."

Okay, your face says you're really creeped out. See why I wanted to run it by you?

Also, see why I'm moving?

I think I am going to break up with him. It wasn't meant to be. I mean, I never thought he hung the stars, and I guess he thought he'd change me. We're both adults, so I hope it stays as civil as it can.

I'd still like to be friends with you and Josh, though. If it's okay?

Cool. Thanks.

Ah, so what are you doing tomorrow? Wanna help me move?

Great. 11 okay? Yeah, I'll bring coffee and lunch.

ooOoo

Okay, so, uh, first. Thank you for coming. Second, thanks for calling my sergeant.

Yeah. I'm fine. It looks worse than it is.

Apparently, the last straw was leaving. So.

No, I'm not cold, why do you ask?

Oh.

It's not too bad. Really. A few stitches, mostly bruises.

I sprained a wrist.

You would think that I, a cop who's had some basic training, would be able to take on a drunk bartender, but. Yeah, his fist is hard. He's fast when he wants to be.

Oh, hey, Josh! Didn't see you there.

No, Michah didn't tell me you were coming. Why are you here anyway? I thought the store couldn't spare you?

Wow.

Thanks.

Um, do either of you know if he's still, y'know, in custody?

I'd kinda like to get outta here and get my stuff so I can leave him in the dust.

Sarge! Well, now it's a party!

No, they can stay. Can't you? Please?

Oh. Uh. Those questions. Can they wait, please? I want—

Okay. I understand. So, yeah, go on, guys. I'll be here a while, it sounds.

Did he really…I'm sorry. I just. I-I can't.

-Why?

ooOoo

So, yeah, this is my new place. Whaddya think?

Rent's not bad, got a great view. And I'm close to my precinct. I can walk if I feel like it!

Yeah, there's an apartment downstairs. Two bedrooms on first. One on second. Three on third. You'd think they woulda put the singles on first, or maybe the families, but no. Can't think with their heads, or more likely the architects didn't plan for the future.

So, anyway. When's the wedding?

Wow, really?

That's. That's really nice of you. I appreciate the offer.

Hey, anyway. Um, yeah. Thanks for sticking by me. I'm sure it wasn't easy. But, like I said, I try to fix what I break.

Except Sam. I didn't break him.

He didn't break me either.

Yeah. Five years.

They couldn't agree on some of the charges so it coulda been worse.

At least he…he didn't hurt me badly.

I'm not defending him.

Fine. Okay. I wish he'd gotten more time. I wish the judge had let the jury see the hospital pictures.

I wish a lot of things.

Oh, hey, Michah, how goes the interning?

That good, huh?

The music store?

Wow. Manager! Things are really looking up.

So, yeah, I've gotta finish off a couple of term papers and I'll have another semester done. Just one more left.

I don't know if I'll go all the way though. Something about the trial took it outta me.

Barba, you remember him, lawyer who managed to at least finagle the piss-poor deal Sam took, he thinks I oughta use this experience to galvanize my efforts.

I told him to piss-off.

He took it well. Said he'd be back. He's actually the one who helped me find this place. He's been really nice to me since…Anyway.

Dinner's on me. Where do you wanna go?

Oh, Barba says there's this really nice bistro around the corner—Figaro's. They've got really good soup and sandwiches. It's got a jukebox and everything.

Hey, thanks again.

I really mean it. I really do appreciate you sticking by me.

Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. Time will tell.

Let's go, I'm starving.

~ The End ~

A/N: Thanks for reading.


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